More and more parents are choosing guideparents instead of, or as well as, godparents. If you've seen the word and wondered what it means, here's a simple explanation – plus some ideas for asking someone to take on the role.
What is a guideparent?
A guideparent is someone chosen to support and guide a child as they grow up, without the religious promises that come with being a godparent. A woman in the role is often called a guidemother and a man a guidefather. Some families use other names, such as ‘oddparents’ or ‘mentors’, but guideparent is one of the most common.
How is it different from a godparent?
Traditionally, godparents make promises during a christening or baptism to help bring the child up in the Christian faith. Guideparents don't have a religious role. Instead, they're there as a trusted adult outside the immediate family – someone to talk to, celebrate with and lean on as the child grows.
Some families have both: godparents from a christening, and guideparents who aren't religious but are just as important to them.
When are guideparents chosen?
Often at a naming ceremony or welcoming party, which some families hold instead of a christening. Others simply ask when the baby arrives, with no ceremony at all. There's no right or wrong way.
What does a guideparent do?
There are no official duties, which is part of the appeal. Most families hope their guideparents will:
- Be a steady, trusted adult in the child's life
- Mark birthdays and milestones
- Offer a listening ear, especially in the teenage years
- Spend time with the child and share their own interests
Is a guideparent the same as a legal guardian?
No. A guideparent isn't a legal role. If you'd like someone to look after your child should anything happen to you, that's a legal guardian, named in your will. Some parents ask the same person to be both, and some ask with a ‘Will you be my guardian?’ keepsake.
How to ask someone to be a guideparent
Asking is a lovely moment, and a small keepsake makes it one they'll remember. My personalised ceramic ornaments ask the question for you, and can be kept long after the answer is (hopefully!) yes:
If you're going the traditional route, there are godparent proposal keepsakes too.
Quick questions
How many guideparents can a child have?
As many as you like – there's no rule. Two or three is common.
Can a guideparent be a family member?
Yes. Aunts, uncles and cousins are often chosen.
Can you personalise the keepsake with a different title?
Of course – send me a message with the wording you'd like.
Anna x